I've got my eye on you

The celebrity divorce of remaining Beatle Paul McCartney and unbalanced one-legged Heather Mills has descended into the realm of nasty spectacle. Television viewers were treated to a disturbing vision of Heather accusing her revered husband of all manner of unpleasantries, and coming off as the stereotypical 'psycho b' in the telling. Not to be outclassed, McCartney's celebrity designer daughter, Stella McCartney, released a collection of jewelry that mocked Heather's handicaps. Is Stella a valiant defender of family and pa, or is she just a mean-spirited 'psycho b' herself?

Mouthy creativity is one secret to the success of Gym Class Hero focal point Travis McCoy. His lyrics are sharp, on target and humor laced, but they're nothing compared to the quotes Travis drops in the press. Read these impromptu McCoy gems and choose your favorite Travie travesty.

Little Prince, the artist currently known as a litigious megalomaniac, has launched an attack of lawyers on his own fans. Attorneys representing the non-aging purple entertainer have sent letters some of his biggest fan sites, notices to cease and desist all use of photographs, images, lyrics, album covers and anything linked to Prince's likeness. The lawyers have reportedly demanded the removal of photos of tattoos inspired by Prince. Is Prince simply protecting his likeness, or has he lost his mother-lovin' mind?

British mess and Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty tells the November 5, 2007, issue of US magazine online: "I feel fantastic! Everything’s really cool right now. People are gonna try and bring you back down, but I’m strong now. I’m just really f----in’ happy. I’ve had many chances. Now life’s good.” Unfortunately for these quotes, the Sun UK simultaneously ran a phone-camera video that appears to prove that Doherty is still injecting heroin. If Pete was misquoted, what did he really mean to say?

Canadian songbird Avril Lavigne dresses to a different drummer. Or maybe she's just hired a blind stylist. In the picture below, what's the greatest style infraction: 1) Wearing a see-through top for the sole purpose of revealing a tin cup holder below? 2) Wearing those boots without a pair of thick, gray army socks?

The cute human kid from robotic epic Transformers has been transformed into an arrested post-adolescent. All it took to throw a real life special effect on Shia LaBeouf's public image was one exasperated Walgreens security guard. LaBeouf's early a.m. antics in Chicago resulted in one misdemeanor count of trespassing. Alcohol? Some other inebriating substance? On the natch?

In response to a recent Maxim magazine list of the world's five least sexy women, an AOL poll has come up with a dreary dozen celebrity males under the heading 'World's Most Unsexiest Men.' Check out the full list, in order of worst to least worst: Pete Doherty, Brandon Davis, Wilmer Valderrama, Simon Cowell, Howard Stern, Kevin Connolly, James Blunt, Pete Wentz, Ryan Phillipe, Josh Hartnett, Eric Dane and Ben Stiller. Who did they leave off?

Doddering rock elder Ozzy Osbourne is conscious of being upset that a North Dakota sheriff used Ozzy's name on a fake nightclub invitation to lure in 30 fugitives from justice for arrest. In a statement probably prepared by someone else, Mr. Osbourne complained: "Instead of holding a press conference to pat himself on the back, Sheriff Laney should be apologizing to me for using my name in connection with these arrests. It is insulting to me and to my audience and it shows how lazy this particular sheriff is when it comes to doing his job." Should the sheriff say sorry to Ozzy? Or should he be proud of taking criminals off the streets?

Brooding singer Ville Valo's history of being manhandled by a female is no secret. The HIM frontman has confessed that a former girlfriend abused him until his ears bled. "Violence is always pretty bad, but it doesn't get any worse than being beaten up by a girl, does it?" Actually, what would be worse than being beaten up by a girl?

Fakery is less than extraordinary on MTV's so-called reality show The Hills. Still, it's somewhat startling that maid-of-honor in the wedding of blonde, breast augmented villain Heidi Montag is a paid position. It's almost like Heidi doesn't have a friend left in the world. Could they pay you enough to be Heidi's maid of honor?