I've got my eye on you

What precious possession can the woman who owns every material thing possibly obtain for herself? If that woman is Madonna, the answer is: a motherless little boy from the impoverished nation of Malawi.

Sean "P. Greedy" Combs is keepin' it real by pimpin' heart-clogging, belly-bloating, skin-wrecking fast food.

Lost actor Josh Holloway worries about being killed off with little to no warning. Maybe he'd feel more secure with a different hairstyle.

Paris Hilton has been derided as simpering, shallow, silly, stupid and slutty. Perhaps the sex tape star and incidental heiress is only STONED.

Former Newlywed Jessica Simpson's hold on the public fascination is about to go the way of her crashed marriage, if the experts at E-Poll Market Research know what they are talking about.

Electro-shock-eyed Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride of Lawrenceville, Georgia, is remembered as a flighty wife-to-be who snuck away four days prior to her wedding. Now she's suing her abandoned man for $500,000 and a vacuum cleaner.

Super wife Victoria Beckham's publicist must have asked for a raise. The former Pish Spice recently confessed to Australian Harper's Bazaar, "I look awful naked."

Every man has a dream, and for most of us that dream involves a romantic link to Scarlett Johansson. Unfortunately Scarlett has issued a harsh wake-up call.

Oiled heir Brandon Davis has absorbed a fat share of foul press. Here are five things that the world should thank him for. Can anyone think of anything else good we've forgotten to say about Brandon Davis?