I've got my eye on you

New York City is a perfect place to turn 21. Rolling Stone reports that Panic! at the Disco guitarist Ryan Ross took advantage of his in with bar-owner Pete Wentz to celebrate the arrival of adulthood at Angels and Kings. The East Village so-called dive bar boasts several Panic! labelmates as investors, many of whom were in attendance to have their eyes bug out at the sight of Ryan's girlfriend, Keltie Colleen, popping out of a gift box.  For those more interested in the band's new album than the spectacle, Ryan has promised, "We're trying to finish up in the next month, month and a half."  And then it will be time for another Angels and Kings party.

If your big sister was rehab post-graduate Lindsay Lohan, you'd have a lot to live up to.  Lindsay's 13-year-old li'l sis Ali Lohan seems perfectly capable of filling her older sibling's shoes.  If traffic accidents mean anything.

InTouch is reporting that Ali snuck out of Lohan manor and went for a cruise with an older man.  That dude, not quite 16, had a learner's permit and a car he apparently had not asked Mom permission to drive.  The driver also -- we can extrapolate -- had trouble keeping his eyes off Ali, which resulted in the traffic accident.  No one was hurt, but at 13, Ali still has so much time ahead of her.

There is a price to pay for being so loaded that you drive an SUV the wrong way on a California freeway.  If you are Nicole Richie, that price is 82 minutes in jail.

Because of over-crowding -- the jail is so compact that they didn't even have room for a girl whose limbs could be used as coffee stirrers -- Nicole's four-day bit was cut down to just under an hour and a half.

Nicole's fellow impaired driver Lindsay Lohan received a one-day sentence yesterday for two drunk driving incidents, one which involved a crash and fleeing of the scene, the other including a high-speed vehicular pursuit, and both garnished with cocaine traces.  If Nicole's incarceration formula is applied to Lindsay's sentence, Lohan could be out of there in 20 minutes -- or right around when she needs her next cigarette.

Somewhere out on Rikers Island, Foxy Brown must be wondering what a celebrity needs to do to get a break.  Foxy was recently ordered to sit in jail awaiting a court hearing coming up in early September.  The volatile rapper could end up doing more slammer time than even Paris Hilton, who screamed, cried and pouted through 20-plus days of incarceration.

Now Paris must be wondering what the hell was wrong with her lawyers.

The glamorous life is looking worse every day for binging druggy Amy Winehouse.  The queen of revolving door rehab is currently all across the Internet in gruesome bloodied up photos that would turn a paramedic's stomach.

The candid shots were reportedly captured following an early morning pitched battle between Amy and her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil.

Blake, who appeared to be even more sliced up than his wife, has now been placed at the top of the list of Men Most Likely to Be Mistaken for Pete Doherty's Craven Wanna-Be Mini Me.

When judges talk to volatile rapper Foxy Brown, they don't play around.  Foxy, three months pregnant, was ordered directly to jail by a Manhattan magistrate unhappy with Brown's probation violations.  According to TMZ, Foxy has been ordered to sit in stir until her next scheduled court date, September 7.



In other police blotter news, the Internet is abuzz with speculation that cocaine charges against Lindsay Lohan will be dropped before she even goes on trial.  Quite possibly, Lohan will do less time for her crime than Foxy Brown will do while waiting for her next court date.




Pregnant and prisonbound Nicole Richie, herself a repeat offender, will also be doing less time for her crime than Foxy will while waiting for a court date.

And, most famously, Paris Hilton was allowed a short recess at the beginning of her days behind bars, a courtesy Foxy Brown can hardly wish for.

Foxy, Lindsay, Nicole and Paris.  Spot the difference.

Smart career choices have not been Britney Spears's strong suit lately, but saying no to recording a duet with Justin Timberlake is as ill-advised as many of Brit's wardrobe picks.  The New York Post reports that hitmaker Timbaland had cleared time to produce, but Britney backed out.  Has the Spears brain fallen under the spell of mindfreak Criss Angel?  Or has Britney always been "different"?

Plenty of mud has been slung at drug addled English pop scum Pete Doherty, but at least he cannot be accused of being stingy with his dope.  The convicted lowlife has apparently been sharing crack with his pet cat, named "Dinger," which is said to be a slang term for syringe.

Vets in London detected the presence of cocaine in the animal's blood while saving its life.  In related news, Doherty has become such a mess that his on and off girlfriend, twig-like supermodel Kate Moss, has apparently picked him up again.

News observers with short term memory superior to Doherty's will recall that Pete was caught in the act of trying to give cancer-causing cigarettes, or weed, to an innocent group of penguins back in March.

The eagerly anticipated debut of Heroes season two is upon the world.  Ever-vigilant Just Jared has captured a pocketful of teasers and hard-to-find cast shots. Find your favorite Heroes here.

Ever-vigilant Just Jared has captured a promo video for the September 27 season-two debut of Ugly Betty.  The video is powered by Mika's "Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)." You must hear it.  And why wait?

Chatterbox British singer Lily Allen's next trip to America has hit some snags.  According to published reports, the bratty songbird had recently pooh-poohed notions that her American visa might be revoked.  That pooh-pooh has now hit the fan.

Due to inadequate documentation with United States immigration, Ms. Allen will not be available to attend MTV's Video Music Awards this September 9th in Las Vegas, America.

A string of stateside performance dates has also been postponed while Lily attends the Amy Winehouse Academy of Vocal Preparation.

Movies bring us together, and they also cause filmgoing friends to feud. Given this weekend's choices of Superbad, The Invasion and The Last Legion, pick the flick you'd fight among your buddies to see.  Click on the screens if you need trailers.  And take the fight to this poll.

"Mind the Gap" takes on a lucrative meaning in the home of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  Some media superstars worry about the negative impact of intrusive cameras upon their children.  Baby Suri Cruise's parents have reportedly decided to rent out their child for a Baby Gap ad campaign.  So there's no need to worry about Suri's college fund.  She'll have spent so much money on therapy before high school, there'll be no chance for university.

Fiftyish pop star Madonna has been guilty of many transgressions during her relentless career, but moderation has never been among her faults.  So don't be surprised at several published reports that Madonna startled fellow passengers on a flight from New York to London by injecting a vitamin cocktail into her arm.  Just be glad the latest fad isn't Perrier enemas.

The New York tabloids are buzzing with speculation that 21-year-old fashion mogul Mary-Kate Olsen will swab the tonsils of an unlikely romantic partner in her new film, The Wackness. Mary-Kate's tongue tasting partner? Sexy Beast actor Ben Kingsley, 63.  That's like French kissing grandpa, without throwing up in your mouth even the tiniest little bit.

Cruelty is not confined to junior high, although the junior high insult is the one that hurts the most.  Imagine Lindsay Lohan's shattered esteem when she sees this "lost dog" poster that Celebslam reports was pasted to the gate of Paris Hilton's home.  How could Lohan have known that Mean Girls would haunt her for life.

Pit bull-cute rapper 50 Cent reportedly erupted like a gangster with a short man's complex when a video for his song "Follow My Lead" appeared on the Internet before he was ready. Sources say 50 ripped a plasma TV off a wall  and threw his phone through a window. Take a poll: Should 50 Cent spend a few quarters on temper counseling?

Despite the fact that Britney Spears has pumped out more kids than new songs in the past few years, the Louisiana popped tart is still one of the media's top-five headline names.  And if Brit would shave her head again, she might shoot right back up to the top. 

So the rumors -- aired by E! Online's Marc Malkin and not denied byMTV execs -- that Britney will perform the opening routine for the MTV Video Music Awards September 9th in Las Vegas, Nevada, make a weird kind of sense.  MTV and the VMAs are all about spectacle.  Britney, whether she bombs or is launched into a higher hemisphere of career rebirth, is guaranteed to bring the spectacle.

Given the choice of gutting it out in a medical environment designed to detoxify her from reported heroin/cocaine addictions or going for a helicoptor flight and a night on the town, "no, no, no" singer Amy Winehouse said "yes, yes, yes" to the whirlybird.  Next update:  London morgue?


Wednesday's Report
Amy Winehouse and her new hubby Blake Fielder-Civil have checked themselves into a rehabilitation clinic somewhere in the U.S., according to British tabloids. Just ask Kelly Osbourne if their treatment will work -- she reportedly received care from the very doctor the rock 'n roll couple are seeing.


Monday's report:
Amy Winehouse: Death before rehab?
English singing star Amy Winehouse may be on the verge of a deadly plunge. First came news that the "Rehab" warbler was hospitalized after collapse from a presumed drug binge. Now, reportedly, Amy has stormed out of a family intervention called after her release from the hospital.  Should Mom and Dad force Amy to check in to a detox clinic?  Take the poll.

In some regards, super mom Angelina Jolie is a very private person.  Although what those private regards may be is hard to fathom.  “I’ve never hidden my bisexuality,” reveals gaurded Angelina to the British press. “But since I’ve been with Brad, there’s no longer a place for that or S&M in my life.”

If nothing else, Angelina's confession explains why Jennifer Aniston is so bitter.  The pain is not so much that Jen lost Brad Pitt, but that she was passed over by Angelina.

One thing that makes going to the movies with a friend better than going on your own is that if the film fully sucks, you can blame your friend for dragging you to it. This weekend's cinematic offerings are a minefield. Rush Hour 3, Stardust or Rocket Science: click for the trailer, and pick your bomb pleasure.

Click on the pictures for trailers, then take the BOTBS poll.

Las Vegas is a magical town of jackpots and super shows where anything can happen.  If you're pretty lucky, you catch Fall Out Boy's winning duo Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz on a shopping spree.  And if you're incredibly fortunate, you attend a dressing-room preview of an acoustic set by Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross from Panic! at the Disco joining Mark Hoppus. Not that lucky?  Click the screen below for exclusive FriendsorEnemies video, and yell bingo!

Rather than engage in aberrant behavior and play a series of her contracted gigs, Amy Winehouse has again canceled a series of concerts, this time in Norway and Denmark, claiming exhaustion.  Is opening screw top wine caps really all that tiring?  Already one of the most worn-out women in show biz, bloozy Amy has been nominted for three MTV Video Music Awards, including the VMA for Best New Artist.  If Amy wins, will she have enough energy to show up?

Ever-ready Presidential candidate the Reverend Al Sharpton is up in arms over rap performers who refer to women as bi*ches in their lyrics. If Al had ever watched The Simple Life, he'd be holding a press conference condemning Nicole Richie for calling all her girlfriends bi*ch. Rap singers might go broke by talking civil, but is it right for girls to call other girls bi*ch?  Take a poll, bi*ches.

With the advent of MCR, FOB and AFI the era of the boy band seemed to have drifted on to history. But ever-vigilant Just Jared captures the Backstreet Boys on the verge of a comeback try, offering a download of BSB's first new single, "Inconsolable." Take this poll:  Can the Backstreet Boys still move you?

Friendships are valuable, especially if keeping your star role on MTV's The Hills depends upon staying friends with Lauren Conrad. If you blow that relationship, you end up like Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Ever-vigilant Just Jared has captured Spencer begging haters to hate him. But tell us:  Is Spencer worth hating? Or is he just pitiful?

This weekend features the type of movie-going choices that wreck relationships. Bratz? The Bourne Ultimatum? Or Hot Rod? Unless your trip to the cinema is made in the company of someone whose taste is identical to your own, any pick of these three is sure to bring drama with the popcorn. Click the screen for a preview, then vote for your fix.

Remember when Gap clothing ran a string of portrait ads featuring edgy cultural icons dressed in Gap classics? Well Gap is at it again. Which of these new Gap iconoclastic icons, as captured by ever-vigilant Just Jared, will sell you a T-shirt?  John Meyer, Sarah Silverman or Ami and Yumi from Puffy.  Take the poll here.